Obedience Without "Self"
I am placing this information here because “self” is a very important element to understand concerning Golden Meetings and corporate warfare.
October 13, 2004
The Lord said, "You cannot walk hand-in-hand with me as My Bride and have "self." It is important that we understand this statement because it is an absolute truth. It is not about the Lord not making exceptions for anyone; it is just a fact. Walking means moving with the Lord. One can move with the Lord, but walking hand-in-hand is moving perfectly with Him. "Self" will keep you from moving perfectly with Him! In 1989 the Lord gave this ministry a word which reads in part:
I would say unto you; be obedient unto Me. I have sought you out, and be obedient to Me. Take this not as a light thing. Who are you? No one! I alone am God.
Isaiah 40: 17
All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity. (There are more scriptures that paint this same picture.)
Moses got into "self" when He struck the rock instead of speaking to it like the Lord commanded. He momentarily lost his "hand-in-hand" with the Lord and it kept him from going into the promised land. "Self" will keep an individual or a corporate body from receiving their full reward. This makes "self" a big issue! Let's examine what happened.
Numbers 20: 7-12
And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth his water, and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink. And Moses took the rod from before the Lord, as he commanded him. And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also . And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.
Moses got into "self" revealed by what came from his mouth, " Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock?" "Ye rebels" reveals Moses' disgust and "must we" reveals total "self" at that point. But more importantly to understand is that because Moses got into "self" the Lord was not able to get the result He wanted with the children of Israel. You might say, "But Israel got their water!" No, that's not the important thing! The Lord's full purpose was destroyed. Consider His statement, "Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel,...."
The Lord wanted to do something, besides giving water for the children of Israel, which Moses and Aaron were completely unaware. God does not always reveal the end results of our being instantly and totally obedient until we obey correctly. This is true individually and corporately. So we catch a glimpse of why the Lord told us, "be obedient to Me. Take this not as a light thing." Perfection in obedience (with no "self") is important, so we must pay attention and do exactly what God says to do. "Self" interferes with the Lord's governing being established in the earth.
I was in a meeting where I had a vision of a certain woman (whom I didn't reveal) in the group serving communion. I knew all of the women were to serve, one by one, in future meetings. I went back to the tape recording and found that I gave an uncertain word concerning what the Lord had revealed to me about the women serving. They were to serve, saying nothing, unless the Lord said something. I had gotten into "self," thinking the Lord gave this because some of the women would be hesitant to serve communion thinking they should say something as they served it. "Self" works this way and sometimes we don't catch it in ourselves when it happens. I had thought it was a lesson in corporate obedience, as we have had this happen before. After listening to the tape I knew I had watered down the true message from the Lord to where it was unclear to the group. The instruction was really very simple, "Have the women serve communion and don't say anything unless the Lord says to say something!"
At the next Oasis meeting (2-3-2006) a lady came through the door and told me she was to do communion. I said, "Ok," but was a little puzzled because she was not the woman I had seen in the vision. She served communion but first she presented some information.
During the second Oasis meeting (2-17-2006) another woman was moved to serve communion. I was thinking that God was doing something in the women as they did this but I was soon to find out differently. She served it quietly and sat down to say a quiet prayer. I joined her, thanking the Lord softly for what He did for me. Afterwards I knew I had gotten into “self” - I had always talked to the Lord softly at some time during communion. It was then that I knew we weren't getting it and I was determined not to say anything the next time unless the Lord said something or gave instruction right then.
At the third Oasis meeting (3-3-2006) the person who was moved to serve was the watchman. She reported afterward that she had asked the Lord, "If I am, are there any words to say?" And the Lord said, "There are none!" We didn't know this had happened as she was serving. She finished and we were sitting with communion in our hands and we partook as each individual wanted. We sat there silent as a group for a while. Then something indescribable happened. It was much more than the presence of the Lord; He was there earlier in the meeting. It was more than an anointing. It was corporate intimacy (for the lack of better words) "and more" with the Lord. All of us had finally conquered "self" corporately and now we were experiencing something supernatural that God wanted to do, which was beyond anything we could have imagined. Moses and Aaron hadn't imagined the second supernatural event the Lord wanted to do, in their particular step, and we hadn't either, in our particular step as a body.
I said it was "more than intimacy" and this is why! The Lord did something in the group that we really can't explain. We have been different, as a group, since this happened. It manifested only because of corporate obedience without "self." I encourage everyone to do exactly what the Lord tells you to do, individually and corporately. Examine the exact instruction from the Lord, every jot and tittle of what He reveals. If you misread or assume you know what the Lord instructs, you have already missed it. I have seen this over and over in very simple instructions. "Self" is the culprit! It was a supernatural event that Moses missed because of "self," and it was a supernatural event we were missing until we got it exactly as God instructed. "Self" was involved in me not giving clear instruction.
The thing we must realize is that if Moses had not gotten into "self" and had spoken to the rock as he was instructed, it would have changed the children of Israel themselves or the circumstances concerning them. That means future events would have been altered. We know the future of this corporate body and what God has for us to do has been affected because of what happened from this corporate supernatural event. It was a necessary step in God's will or plan for us to complete so we can go on to His next step. This fact is being revealed in the Corporate Flow Chart even now!
Years ago God told me to do something. I didn't obey because of "self," and now a ministry is missing in the earth that God wanted. Think of the far-reaching effects of "self" by imagining all the people that one ministry could have affected over time. What about the people that those affected people would have affected? It goes on and on forever. It is easy to see in this case that the "self" in me was against the government of the Lord, His governing, and against His ability to bring forth into the earth His perfect will!
Do you realize that if the apostle Paul had not gotten into "self" that the book of Acts would be different? One cannot imagine the far-reaching effects of that. Keep in mind that the early church was not spotless as you read through this, and that "self" comes against the governing of the Lord. Paul speaks:
Acts 20: 22,23
And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the things that shall befall me there: Save that the Holy Ghost witnesseth in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions abide (await) me.
Notice the word "spirit" is not capitalized in, "I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem." This reveals he was in his own spirit, his own will, and Paul even says the Holy Spirit is warning him of what will happen in every city he entered. Now Paul moved on to Tyre and the Lord again warned him not to go to Jerusalem!
Acts 21: 4
And finding disciples, we tarried there seven days: who said to Paul through the Spirit, that he should not go up to Jerusalem.
Paul moves on to the house of Phillip, the evangelist.
Acts 21: 9 - 14
And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy. 10 And as we tarried there many days, there came down from Judaea a certain prophet, named Agabus. 11 And when he was come unto us, he took Paul's girdle, and bound his own hands and feet, and said, Thus saith the Holy Ghost, So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man that owneth this girdle, and shall deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles. 12 And when we heard these things, both we, and they of that place, besought him not to go up to Jerusalem.
Paul was now being not only warned again but was being told specifically what would happen! Paul mentions "mine heart" and reveals "self" again.
13 Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. 14 And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased, saying, The will of the Lord be done.
God wasn't ready for Paul to die because He still had plans for him. God was sending His government (here a little and there a little) down the river of life through the Holy Spirit to guide Paul into His will, but Paul was paying no attention to the "things of the Spirit" at this time. He was into "self" (pride of ministry). Paul should have stopped and added up all the "things of the Spirit" to realize that he was not on God's path, fallen on his face, and asked God what his next step should be. Again, there is no question about this as revealed in this scripture.
Acts 21: 4
And finding disciples, we tarried there seven days: who said to Paul through the Spirit, that he should not go up to Jerusalem.
Miriam and Aaron
God brought my attention to Miriam and Aaron in a vision during a meeting. Right in the very center of the meeting I saw both of them confronting Moses. I was standing in the place of Moses or was Moses for an instant and was experiencing the atmosphere that was emitting from Miriam and Aaron as they attacked Moses/me. I knew it was them although they were somewhat blurred. The words being emitted from the two were many, overlapping from words to Moses and words in our time. "We have the Holy Spirit like you do. We can hear God just like you. We know how to follow God as well as you! We know how to work the Flow Chart as well as you." They were many and they came at me like a big ball all at once. There were written words coming in with the actual voices. I think some were the actual words of Miriam and Aaron to Moses but I don't know that. The feeling of the atmosphere emitted by Miriam and Aaron in the vision was very hard to comprehend; therefore I couldn't put words to it until I read the account again in the scriptures.
Numbers 12: 1,2
And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it.
When I read, "And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us?" I was able to identify a lot of the atmosphere emitting from Miriam and Aaron in the scene: arrogance, pride, underlying control, and I saw "self" big time. Miriam and Aaron were into "self." I realized I had read through these scriptures many times and never saw this aspect of this incident.
One thing that should be realized here is that "self" (pride) was attacking the governing or government of God. Aaron and Miriam thought they were doing right; after all, Moses had married an Ethiopian woman. They had wrong motives and their own agenda, not God's. God had set Moses in a position of government. He had anointed him to bring the children of Israel out of bondage - a specific job.
After Miriam became leprous Aaron repented for what they had done. Moses, even though he had been attacked, without "self" and full of compassion, cried out to God on Miriam's behalf. So in the two instances in Moses' life, speaking to the rock and crying out for Miriam, we see it is easy for anyone to get into "self" at any given moment. Moses' life reveals both being in and being out of "self."
When I was writing this information I had a scene in the night of looking at the picture I had made of the Secret Place. I knew the Lord wanted me to bring it up again. Those of you who have seen it in the past will realize that I took out the shadow of a wing and inserted the shadow of a King. That is the way it is and the main point: KING.
Looking at the picture the Holy Spirit brought up, we see for sure that "self" will keep anyone from the Secret Place. The two are incompatible!
Note: One aspect of "self" has to do with pride and following our own spirit rather than the "things of the Spirit" presented by the Holy Spirit at His will.
The Lord said, "You cannot walk hand-in-hand with Me as My Bride and have "self."
Tried as Gold